leukemia

Update to “Shock”

ET (“Evil” twin) used “leukemia” as a generic term for a blood/bone marrow cancer. Leukemia is (I guess) a bone marrow cancer causing abnormal production of white blood cells. ET’s bone marrow is producing abnormal red blood cells. Since the repeated tests are not showing a worsening of the problem, her doctor is going to wait 3 months before doing more tests.

So, the waiting continues. Waiting is better than the test results getting worse.

Excitement, Worry and Possible Courage

Today, we drove to what will be our new home town and made an offer on the house we are hoping to buy. The offer was accepted, so we have somewhere to live “on the other end”. The sale of our current home will be complete at the beginning of May and the purchase of our new home will be complete 3 weeks later.

I have lived in the “hot desert” for almost 60 years…nearly my entire life. My wife has lived in the hot desert for 37 years. For me, city living has been the case 43 years and for my wife, 45 years. Before that both of us grew up in tiny towns out in the “middle of nowhere”.

We will still be living in the desert, but it will be a cold desert. Each year, the hot desert has one or two days below freezing and many days above 115F/45C. It has never been below 20F/-7C. The cold desert will have high temperatures, at most, around 90F/32C and many days with low temperatures around -5F/-21C. The lack of “water falling from the sky” is pretty much the same for both places…just a few inches/cm of precipitation per year.

While the move, and achieving a near lifelong dream is exciting, I’m also a bit sad. I will be leaving what I’ve known for my entire life for something new.

I also have sense of foreboding and I can’t shake it. I’m not even sure what it is that I am worried about. Is it ET’s (twin sister) leukemia and my not being as close as I’d like in case she needs help? Is it something else? Am I just imagining things? Am I just sad about leaving a familiar situation? I don’t know.

I do know I am worried about ET, but I don’t think that is all the worry that I have.

I guess courage is not a lack of fear and worry but forging ahead despite the fear and worry. So, I guess I’m sort of courageous.

Hiding

After yesterday’s not so good news, I’m working on the home by filling nail holes (pictures) and thumbtack holes as we paint the interior walls. I really don’t need to do this because the housing market where we live is what is called “white hot”. Homes go on the market and within hours, bidding “wars” ensue between buyers…each buyer hoping to be the one to “get lucky” and buy the house.

I’m mostly doing all this work to keep my mind busy. When I stop, I think of ET and her leukemia diagnosis. With the diagnosis, but no details, the missing information gets filled in by one’s imagination and the imagination can be quite scary. The exact same thing happened when my fiancée was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and also when wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, so I know about “imagination”, but I can’t help myself.

So, I keep myself busy and hope that my fiancée and my twin don’t get to meet anytime soon.

My wife just told me that the timer, set to “ding” when the caulking around the window was cured enough to paint, has “dinged”.

So, back to work…and hiding.