The Phone Call

I’ve been putting off confronting the problem.  I kept hiding from it and hoping it would go away.  But, this problem can’t, won’t and didn’t (go away).

My mom’s mental status has been declining as of late.  Most likely it’s due to complications of her age (almost 98).  I’ve been, with her approval and signature, taking care of paying her bills and taking care of her other affairs.  It’s getting to the point where I don’t feel right taking her to the bank and saying, “Mom.  Please sign here.” and her responding “Can I put my feet down?” or “Did I do something wrong?”

My parents, before my dad died, retained a very capable attorney and set up a trust.  In the close to 900 pages of the trust document is a section dealing with what to do when mom’s age, mental status or other things prevent her from taking care of her own affairs.

I could just have her sign a document saying she wishes my brother and I to become the active (or whatever it’s called) trustees.  I know she would do it, but if I don’t feel comfortable having her sign checks any longer, then I don’t think it would be right to have her sign something giving up control of her affairs.

Basically, two medical doctors, my brother, and I need to agree that it’s time, or a court needs to determine the same thing.

I called my brother today.  Next week he’s flying in to see for himself.

My mom, in my heart, is supposed to be an invincible Superwoman, just like she was when I was five or six years old.  Her need for a 24 hour a day caretaker challenged my heart’s view of mom.  This new development is an even bigger challenge to my heart’s view…a challenge that I intensely dislike having to confront.

Maybe if I say it enough, it will make it true.

“My mom is still an invincible Superwoman.”

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